Some Writing Advice

• Learn how to use apostrophes.
• Except in essays on eschatology, you seldom need the word ultimately.
• Except in legal documents, you never need the word aforementioned.
• In US English, periods and commas go inside quotation marks.
• Superscripts follow punctuation.
• In US English, an organization or institution is an "it," not a "they."

From a Guide to Grammar and Writing:

Avoid announcing the thesis statement as if it were a thesis statement. In other words, avoid using phrases such as "The purpose of this paper is . . . . " or "In this paper, I will attempt to . . . ." Such phrases betray this paper to be the work of an amateur. If necessary, write the thesis statement that way the first time; it might help you determine, in fact, that this is your thesis statement. But when you rewrite your paper, eliminate the bald assertion that this is your thesis statement and write the statement itself without that annoying, unnecessary preface.